NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize