put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
