So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
