He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
