Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
