can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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