Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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