So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
