i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
