If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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