An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
it's like iHOP with fire
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
