bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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