I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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