Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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