I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
