we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
