He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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