We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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