When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize