wat bout pragnant strippers??
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
