so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
