Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
