I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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