if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
