I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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