I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I just googled if crying burns calories
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
