I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
