dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Randomize