But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
