is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
