I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
