you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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