You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Randomize
