The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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