i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Randomize
