Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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