Do you still have your period?
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I cut my penus on the lid.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
