He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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