Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
