We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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