I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
