At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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