hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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