first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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