problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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