Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
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