you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize