When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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