dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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