Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
