So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
