Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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