This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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