Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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