oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
