I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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