Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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