Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
