I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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