He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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