I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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