Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
