so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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