I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
