I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
