I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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