I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
third nipple confirmed
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
