I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
